Im sitting here wondering whether i should even bother telling them.
I will have to eventually. I just never ever expected to be in the position i am in.
I come from a carefree happy family, actually they are close to perfect. Through all my difficult moments they had been there for me. Support and love i never was short of. My family are good people. They dont lie and steal and are respected by all in the community.
My grandparents will be so dissapointed I am happy they are not alive not now, not when im pregnant. Im 20 and pregnant. I still have two years left of my degree, i dont know what to do.
It all happened so quickly, he was so sweet, rough and uncultured, i think thats what attracted me, the dysfunctionalness, the total opposite to me. He was older than me, maybe too much older, working already.
I met him at Exclusive bookstore when we both reached for the same book. When our hands touched and eyes met in a permanet gaze. I fell inlove instantly and that it was recipricated only made me more happier.
I met him on the sly, bunking lectures, talking, whispering enjoying his company and being enjoyed.
My freinds didnt like him from the start, he was not like me they would say.
He didnt have a similar upbringing, didnt have an education.
He had a mother whom he had to look after since his father had left them a long time ago.Hhe had a younger sister to care for, all of a sudden education becomes a luxury.
He was troubled, and was betrayed so many times, i wanted to fix him up, give him love and attention he was so deprived of.
Why could any of them not understand that?
So i see my freinds less and less, i become more quieter at home, i feel guilty that im lying to them but at the same time I feel guilty having all this around me when he has nothing.
Im sitting in my room thinking of the day that has passed Tears roll down my eyes, i saw him this morning. I tell him i have taken three tests and im pregnant.
He looks shocked as expected, he screams, he shouts and he says it not his.
One night, one moment, three minutes and he now claims its not his.
He was my first everything, my first kiss, my first love, the first man i trusted who wasnt my family, the first person who really knew me, who knew my soul, my mind my innermost secrets and dreams. We couldnt get closer.
But love is very blind.
I have really good freinds at least that i chose well.
They come and tell me a ugly truth. His mother is not sick and his father did not dessert them. He's got older siblings and he's the lazy spoilt brat who messes with girls minds as a recreational activity. They met three girls who he has whood and dumped after they served their purpose.
I feel sick and run to a bathroom to vomit. They comfort and hold me as i cry. They say its okay, they say at least i found out the truth. They dont know its morning sickeness.
Little do they know, its too late.
Im sitting in my room still hoping for my phone to ring, for him to say its all a mistake, that he loves me.
Three hours i stare at this Samsung phone that i eagerly spent most of my nights with smsin a certain someone.
My mother comes into my room and asks me what is wrong, am i okay?
I lie and say im fine. My older sister comes in with my cute three year old newphew. She is also worried of me. How do i tell her, " Im pregnant" and i hate the father.
I had my whole future mapped out for me, finish my undergrad in Law, work in a la di da firm and eventually become a top notch advocate.
I pick up a pamplet i collected from the clinic this afternoon. I pick up my Samsung and dial the number.
The guilt will kill me i am sure, but the pain and agony to break my parents hearts, the dissapointment will be too much to bare. Worst still to be constantly reminded of HIM, growing inside me, makes me nautious and suicidal.
" i dunno what to do, but i think im pregnant but i dont want this child. Do you do abortions?"
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