Some more thoughts

I never seem to need a reason to watch a movie, but the other day, it was a chilly sunday early evening actually, KD and I had decided (upon my insistence and his kindness) to watch a documentary on Rumi (Abby I know you would appreciate this)

Unfortunately, I was severely disappointed, the documentary taught me nothing more than there was a bunch of people really in awe of him.

But none of them really knew why they were so fascinated with this dervish.

I think my fascination with dervishes and sufis is simply that they so go against the conventional way Islam is practiced.
Oh dear dare I approach the religion factor to my blog? This is treacherous and dangerous lands I dare trespass.

Society, culture and religion are so closely integrated its nearly impossible to really differentiate between them. I mean we are born Muslims, we were not given the choice to practice, it was enforced on us. Yet we do have the choice of free will, and for some people a muslim who decides to not practiced needs to be shunned. Surely then that persn is not being granted the choice of free will, free will which is a right to all individuals.

Now before everyone jumps on your back for saying, a Non Muslim and a half Muslim and all the other things that will oh yes will be stressed and pointed out, God created Adam, and Adam was not a Muslim, well because religion was not really created then so to speak.

Surely we are allowed to wonder of those things, like where we all come from, and did all of come from Adam and Eve, and where exactly heaven is, and whether there is a shortcut to heaven or not (wishful thinking)

Although Moslem school did teach me much I get irritated that the standard of teachers is so limited. I once asked a Moslem school teacher why there were no female prophets and the answer I got was “I will pretend I did not here that”

I am in that wondering and pondering stage in my life.

There are so many actors out there, people pretend every single day and its so scary. Its nearly terrifying.

just why

Why do we HAVE to conform so much an do what everyone expects of us just why? When, had my goals and dreams disintegrated and was conveniently replaced by something more conventional? Why must we compromise so much to the point where our true selves are hardly reflected in our own selves so all that remains is minor glimpses of who we were supposed to be? Where is the truth and the freedom we so fight for when we ourselves are not liberated to truly do what we feel? Why does the media dictate what we should like, who are they to define beauty?

When is the sun ever going to really start shining instead of the fluorescent artificial ones that have lit up our lives because of all the dark clouds hiding the real sun.

Oh I ponder and wonder

Sometimes I ponder if things would have been different.

Like what if I studied to be a writer instead. Would any of my stuff actually have been published? I wonder if I ever will be a top notch stock broker, or a sort after analyst, an Oscar winning actress or script writer, a Grammy winning song writer, a suicidal artist, or a chef that makes Jaimie Oliver stutter and Nigella actually look unsexy but I settle for the unpublished poet.

I go on and further explore my past relationships and wonder, would things have been different if I went out with the guys who asked me out, who I hesitantly refused cause I was too shy or scared?

Would I be a married lady, would we have holidayed in Maurituis at Berjaya?

What if I married that boy who dumped me after a few weeks but politely proposed first, would I be divorced, pregnant and yet again suicidal?

What if I never studied and got a job being the assistant to Nolene on SABC 3 and after 6 years have my own talk show raising interesting topics like, “Why Barbie Dolls have waists equivalent to the size of their thighs?”

What if I was rich would I be driving a new Mercedes with expensive obnoxious mags, and loud system sporting my Bangra collection I would have acquired by then fulfilling every Indian mothers dream of her eldest daughter being an accomplished, lawyer, doctor, engineer, accountant or economist?

But things are very different, I take a taxi to Clicks head office and mess a around with numbers learning what a big company does, enabling me to have first hand knowledge of what the operational side is like in running a huge retail store which further aids my experience and development as a top retail analyst, making the likes of Merill Lynch, Allan Gray and all those other snooty Mercedes driving company workers, very impressed with my work, after which I become a HOTEL analyst, holidaying at the likes of Berjaya in Maurituis, with an amazing guy, who doesn’t give a damn that my waist is not the size of an anorexic Paris Hilton (Heiress to a Hotel Empire I must add for the intellectually challenged), inspiring me as a muse to write beautiful published poems, and songs they will use in Isidingo for the greatest romantic couple to grace our screens since Brooke and Ridge in Bold and the Beautiful, namely Rajesh and Lee.

I will then have lots of babies, ok two and cook butter chicken on Sundays with all the

side dishes and finish it off with a cheesecake for dessert from a Nigella Lawson cookbook.

3 o clock?

Last night I woke up and it was exactly at Three o clock when I woke. Which freaks me out. A friend told me, 3 o clock is the bewitching hour and Im the biggest scardy cat. The night before i also woke up at that hour. I was freaked again.

I sleep with my pc on so i can have a bit of light (eskom better not hear that) but i promise u I totally imagine stuff. Like i have this poster witha bridge and a lake on it and then i imagine that girl fro The ring gets out o the water and walks onto the bridge into my room. AGhhhhh and then i stare at the picture all the time.

Its a very funky black and white pic but yaw. Then I go online and read bloggs or chat. Im weird like that.

When i first got my pc with internet I would be online half the night, i think im better now.

But do u think 3 o clock is a bewitching hour?

Love an opinion piece

“Falling inlove (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. Its easy to confuse love with fear.”

Obtained from a book called “Its called a Breakup cause its broke”, by Greg Behrendt and Amira Routola- Behrendt, that people who brought, “He’s Not that into you”

Perhaps I’m being way too cynical here (or too accepting) but we do not always marry whom we were most in love with. Sometimes passion is a dangerous substance to consume in reality. I believe that for every person, there is ur soul mate, but very few of us actually meet them. And if you do, ure vrek lucky. But that does not mean u have to marry them.

Defn of marriage:
Main Entry: mar�riage
Pronunciation: 'mar-ij also 'mer-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English mariage, from Old French, from marier to marry
Date: 14th century
1 a : the state of being married b : the mutual relation of husband and wife : WEDLOCK c : the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family
2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities
3 : an intimate or close union

There is no mention of love, it is merely a UNION.
I am NOT saying people who are married are not INLOVE no!!

But come on, using simple statistics and psychology, we meet guys all the time, if they are cute, we are sort of attracted (physically attracted), when we are exposed to their wicked sense of humor we become personality attracted, then you become friends or share a conversation and start getting emotionally attracted, he is understanding and kind, then he starts complimenting on ur laugh and the butterflies start.

Now come on, this happens a couple of times in ur life, IT DOES, and yes it varies, some are funnier, some are sweeter, some are cuter etc, but it happens a couple of times, yet each of us have 1 great soul mate.

defn of love
a strong positive emotion of regard and affection
a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction;

Doesnt this happen often, i mean for me it has at least.

def of soul Mate:

Classical - Greek mythology - Originally humans were combined of 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head made of 2 faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them. This theory was first explained in Plato's Symposium.

Spiritual and religious - concepts of reincarnation and karma. Soulmates have spent many previous lifetimes together.

Companion soulmate - People with whom one has made a connection.

Twin flame soulmate - A popular romantic belief that there is only one true soulmate.

Scientific Soulmate - (If) a relationship can be quantified, and scored according to an internal happiness scale. A scientific soul mate is the person with whom you are the absolute happiest. You would therefore be less happy with any other person in existence.

But how do you no when u are happiest, u cant measure it. And because u are with different guys at different times of your life, u cannot compare the two cause the variables in your life change all the time and its not like u can make them stand still cetrus paribus!!

I think love can be defined by stats, all this bull shit on destiny is K@K cause what’s the chances of u meeting ur other half 1 in 40 billion or how ever many people there are in the universe.
Also, culture, religion, race all play a role.
It segregates us, and if this great Soul mate theory was true, surely it would overcome societies social norms which dictate what is acceptable or not.

There are so many barricades, fences and powers that stops us from meeting our soul mates. Love is just a chemical reaction, its all hormones induced and after a while dries up. Marriage is a Union, which needs to be OKAYED by society indoctrinated by the Media.

I may have gone off on a tangent, but I do not think we marry the ones who we were destined to be with, An Imam, social status, society norms, money, honor to parents, all of that influence whom we love, or who is our soul mates.

Perhaps I’m a pessimist, I don’t think I I’m just a realist who refuses to accept that my life is going to end up like a Bollywood movie, but I still am the Eternal Optimist, BRAD PITT will me MINE!!!!!

Dates

I don't know exactly why but I thought this picture out of all picture depits love and affection most adequately. The way Simba stands tall and loks ahead with a vision of a future and Nala although opinionated and independent, cuddles up to Simba.

I mean there is just so much contradiction wrt love these days. As a woman you would want to be independent and stand tall, high and strong yet there are desires for a man to be by your side, without compromising your independence, or losing your inividuality.

the question arises, DOES a guy have to pay for dates? Does he have to call you first? I have paid for dates, I've called first. Was this wrong? How much do you or dont you do? Do u really want him to save you, resue you from reality?
Will being a mother and a wife compensate for the world of wonder that lays out there for us. WIll it satisfy the ever building curiosity for truth, will it quench the thirst for accomplishment, will it erradicate the need for acceptance and appreciation? Am I using big words to describe nothing?

AM i being too independent?

What are issues?

Am I being to liberal, with love, do you have to be old fasioned?

Then there are guys that buy you huge prawns on first dates, is that showing off?? DO i care for a prawn, for me it's more about the company, does he make me laugh (LOL too!), is he smart, does he have opinions or god forbid he agree with everything I say (hate that).

Not that I have been on that many dates, but you get the drift.

I just ponder on these things, I wonder on what is and is not accptable, on whether they are guidelines or whether they are society and media's norms.

I better end off now before I go off another tangent.

But what is your opinions on all this?